People like to tell us to “just let it go,” usually when they’re tired of hearing us complain about a person or situation. But are they right? Should we let it go?
The answer is different for everyone, but it’s almost always “yes.” There’s a difference between processing negative emotions and events and letting them hold us back. One frees us while the later gives us an excuse to be a cynic.
We all have challenging days at work, in our relationships and just getting out of bed. It’s our choice whether we allow those people and events bring us down and/or keep us there. Whether it’s a fight with a friend or family member, or just a particularly bad day at work, these negative experiences can steal our focus for quite a while.
For many, challenges make a viable distraction and excuse from concentrating on what it is we really want. Just maybe, those situations are trying to tell us something about ourselves and the choices we have been making.
Could it be time to cross the street where there aren’t any holes in the sidewalk we find ourselves falling into? An excellent display of “Letting it go”!
I love challenging my clients on their distractions and excuses. Both hold keys to unlock the doors hiding unconscious blocks, which is why we keep bumping up against them. Once we become aware of what they really are… a hindrance to realizing what we really want, our distractions and excuses loose their power.
Although no one likes to go through hard times, those are usually the times we look back on as the ones that challenged us to change in some way. The ones that tested our strength, pushed us to our limits. We may have emerged figuratively and literally battered and bruised, but ultimately we came out stronger for having gone through it all.
That’s fine and no one expects us to bounce back the next day. There will be growing pains and they will require time to adjust to our new environments and our newer, wiser views of life and the world.
But taking time to process the changes in our lives and distracting are two different things. One is a healthy part of change while the other can be destructive to ourselves and our relationships.
Distractions are a form of resistance. It means we still don’t want to accept the changes in our lives, so rather than doing something about them, or learning to work around or with them, we distract and make excuses.
Those choices don’t do any good for anyone. Distractions may seem real in the moment, and in a way they could be. Accepting “letting it go” may feel like a loss which isn’t always easy, but once it’s done, we’re lighter. We’re free to take the next step in our journey, whatever that step may be.
Distractions and excuses weigh us down and hold us back from taking that next step, as long as we allow them, but think of what we could accomplish if we could just let go of that disappointment! In ourselves and others.
There are many ways to let go, but gratitude and forgiveness are probably the most common. When we feel hurt and/or betrayed, it can be difficult to let go of anger towards whomever let us down, but you know what they say: “Anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to get sick”. When you hold on to resentment, the only person you’re hurting is yourself.
This holds true even if it wasn’t a person who intentionally hurt you. Sometimes accidents happen and things go wrong and it’s not anyone’s fault, but we still hold on to all that negative energy. We wonder how it could have happened or what we should have done differently when the only thing we really need to be focusing on is how to deal with it so we can move on.
Letting go is just one part of another piece of advice we all hear over and over again: to live in the present. We can spend all day regretting what happened yesterday or worrying about what will happen tomorrow when the only thing that really matters is what’s happening right now.
So make the first step in being grateful and forgiving yourself for being part of what went wrong for you. There are far too many of us walking around burdened with emotions and thoughts from the past. Isn’t that how a cynic is created!
Let’s learn to let go and be…
This article by Linda Berger -Women’s Empowerment and Productivity Coach – Transformation and Empowerment Expert
Linda Berger Blogs on Women’s Empowerment. #coachlindaberger #womenempowerment #productivity #businesswomenwarriors #transformationexpert #womenintransition #empowermentcoaching #transformationcoach #lindaberger #90daychallenge #purposepowerpotential #wisdom #micheleweldon #writingtosaveyourlife #writing #yourstory #stories
Coach Linda Berger’s vast experience with women in transition and her keen ability to guide them with precision to land on their feet with grace, wisdom, and purpose makes her the leading expert in the issues women face when transitioning in life, work, family, and personal dilemmas. She is also the creator and facilitator of innovative and transformational 90 day Business Women Warrior Challenges.
Download free Dare to Let Go -4 Steps to Be You Choose ebook coachlindaberger.com
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